Content in the Unknown

I sit here, curser blinking, unsure what to tell you. I graduated college, that was cool. I don't know if it's really sunk in yet. I'm still pretty much doing the same things: coffee, bible, more coffee, coffee shops, read books (one's I want to read), write (like this here fancy blog), and pray. I pray a lot. Lately I've been praying more than I have in a while. Why is it we are drawn to our knees to pray when something huge is happening? I so wish to grow in my prayer life so I'm continually thanking God for the mundane. Don't get me wrong, I thank God for the small things all the time. But being in prayer continuously, now that's beautiful.

Lately with the help of wonderful and trusted friends, we've been praying some pretty huge prayers. God is a big God, why not go to Him with big prayers. I know the Lord will provide, I've spoken about it before. But one of my constant prayers is for God to show me just a glimpse of what His will is for me in the next few weeks, just a hint of what exactly that provision will be. Just the next few weeks, that's all. Not who I'm going to marry, not how many children I'll have, not even what am I suppose to do with my life. Just...am I moving to Colorado? Will I reach 100% funded before January? So much of my life currently is volatile. It wouldn't be truthful for me to say that I'm not scared. In fact, I'm quite worried.

Why is it that we are so forgetful? I have had many experiences of the Lord's provision upon learning I would be support raising. The last week of camp, our bible study leaders gave us a glass jar and some small rocks. We spent our final study together writing and sharing moments of God's faithfulness in our life and placing those rocks in our jars. It was such a precious moment to hear the amazing ways God remains faithful.  The rocks were meant to be used just as the rocks in Joshua 4 were to be used to remember the cutting off of the flow of the Jordan when the ark of the covenant crossed it. Just as the people of Israel forget often in the Old Testament, I too had forgotten the Lord's faithfulness in my life. I revisited my jar of faithfulness, I reread old notebooks, and I meditated on old verses I had clung to in the early stages of support raising.

Now I'm clinging to the unknown, living each day in close communion with my faithful Father, and relishing in the beauty of His good and perfect will. It's okay if I don't know, I don't need to (as much as I want to). It will be for my ultimate good, and more importantly His glory. I long to live in this contentment of the unknown all the time.

A special thank you to everyone who is continuing to pray for me, I am thankful for your support. Also a huge thank you to everyone whose partnered with the ministry work I get to do in Colorado both financially and through prayer support, it's a journey I'm so happy to be taking with you!

The Lord Will Provide

God is our Jehovah-Jireh, The Lord Will Provide, this name of God has been increasingly important in my journey and may prove to add some comfort in any situation. Jehovah means the self-existent One. Jehovah derives from the Hebrew word havah, which means to be, to become. So this name of God speaks to God's being or essence.  Jehovah, I am who I am, I will be who I will be, and I will cause all that will be. Jehovah is the the eternal I AM. All of life is contained in Him. Now Jireh literally means "to see" in the Hebrew. So how do scholars get provide out of "to see." As Kay Arthur (author of Lord, I Want to Know You) beautifully explains it: our eternal, all knowing Father in Heaven sees.. always have, always will. He sees the now and he sees what will be.

We see a beautiful example of this in Genesis 22. God has just asked Abraham to go to Moriah and sacrifice his son Isaac. While walking to where the sacrifice was to take place Isaac notices they have the fire and the wood but there is no lamb for the burnt offering, he asks his father where the lamb is. In 22:8 Abraham responds, "God will provide for Himself the lamb for the burnt offering, my son," so he was literally saying, "God will see for Himself the lamb." The use of the word see denotes provision. He arranged the wood, bond his son Isaac, and was just about to sacrifice him when the angel of the Lord stopped him. Abraham looked behind him and a ram was caught in the bushes. Abraham loved his son, gave him up as worship to the Lord by obeying his calling to do so, and the Lord provided an alternative sacrifice.

What do I have in my life the Lord is asking of me, what may seem like too much to do, or to give up? Why do I struggle to lean into the unchangeable provision of my Jehovah-Jireh? God is the eternal (Jehovah) provider (Jireh).. always has been, always will be.

The Lord is my Jehovah-Jireh, your Jehovah-Jireh The Lord WILL Provide. I'm holding onto nothing in this life, I offer it all up to the Lord and his unchanging, good, and perfect provision will do just that.. provide.

The God Most High Has a Job for YOU.

"Have I not commanded you? Be strong and Courageous. Do not be terrified; do not be discouraged, for the Lord your God will be with you wherever you go." - Joshua 1:9

This past month of being home has been a whirlwind of finding my routines, new connections with old friends, and relying on the Lord. This summer I relied on God for my strength and energy. I have continued to do that but have found myself relying on him for much more now. In the book of Joshua we see God calling Joshua to lead millions into the promise land. I marvel at the organization and determination required to pursue this calling. Joshua 1:9 is such an encouragement for me when I have a long list of things I need to get done but really only want to throw on netflix and sit. I'm not called to lead millions of the Lord's followers, that task is daunting in light of my calling to raise support.

In the world today we are obsessed with instantaneous results, we think the word obey = blessings. Like Paster Shane Holden said "tell that to Job." We need to erase the expectation of being blessed from our obedience and consider obedience as a form of worship. Obey the Lord because HE IS WORTHY of our obedience.

El Elyon is a name for the Lord meaning God Most High. The creator of the vast universe, the master of all things, the orchestrator of each detail... knows my name, desires to hang out with me, cares so much for me he calls me to a life of honoring Him. The God Most High, has a job for me. Imagine the most important person in your life, someone you revere and admire. Now imagine if they asked you to do something. That's a very small picture of God. He deserves our reverence, and admiration more than any person on this earth.

I am a child of God. A daughter of the Heavenly Father. I am called to go to school, to work as a server, and to raise support. "Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as working for the Lord, not for men" (Colossians 3:23). In all these, I am called to further the Kingdom, witness among the lost, and if nothing else: LOVE people.

So be encouraged. You aren't "just a student" or "just a worker". You are a child of God appointed to do those things in an honoring and glorifying way.

Adventure is calling!

In my latest adventure I applied to be a camp counselor at Eagle Lake Camps in Colorado. I felt I had been growing my faith for a reason and preparing for something but didn't know the clear direction. This was that very moment. Upon getting accepted my mother joked around saying this was going to change my life forever. I'm a firm believer that all of the choices you make and experiences you have are ones that change your life forever in some fashion. I hadn't known the major effect camp was going to have on my life until now.

Eagle Lake Camps is a ministry of the Navigators and is located in the heart of Pike National Forest. They are devoted to inspiring "Christ-centered love and commitment, through counselor relationships, in the midst of exciting outdoor experiences" for each and every camper. They focus on loving people and doing it well. To put it in not so technical terms: Eagle Lake is a whole lot of fun, extremely challenging at times, but an experience you have to be a part of to fully grasp.

God taught me many lessons this summer one of the biggest being that I am inadequate and that's okay. Just like Jonah fled from his calling to Nineveh I too fled for a portion of my life from the Lord. His faithfulness to continue pursing me is something I constantly dwell in. No matter how far I attempted to run even there His hand guided me (Psalm 139:9-10). I wasn't sure what each day would bring but looking back my summer was filled with young girls eager to know their Heavenly Father and looking to me to help them do so. The little nuggets of truth God placed on my heart to share in the lives of these young girls were life changing. Days were long, weeks were short, and the summer was even shorter so. When I reflect back on my time I'm so grateful for the lifelong friendships I made and the ways in which God stretched and grew me but most importantly I was blessed to be used in all my brokenness to invest in the generations to come. I am inadequate, but my God is made strong in my weakness.


BUT WAIT...there's more.

While at camp I was so glaringly called to stay, I didn't know how and in what way but I knew I needed to come back. Enter the Emerging Leader's Program. After struggling with whether to apply or not I found myself jumping in leaving it all in God's hands. Enter Emily Evers, Emerging Leader set to fundraise my way to a full-time two-year position with Eagle Lake. So here I am, back in small town La Crosse, Wisconsin adjusting to life off the mountain but encouraged and blessed for the next adventure God has called me to.